i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize