I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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