I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
