This girl is more easily done than said...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
This house was built for laser tag.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
