He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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