I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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