that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
