Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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