you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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