if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
