Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
