Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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