Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
