Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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