Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
