guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
did i walk over a car last night?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
