Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
