that's an acceptable place to lick
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
