just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
