Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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