Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
