He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
