just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
