69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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