please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
