hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
