I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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