love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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