there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
