Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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