these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
