Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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