I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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