i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
