there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
