I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
