He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
