who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
