we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
