Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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