HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
