if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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