Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
