I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
