This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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