Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We have started to decorate penises.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
