i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
