Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize