did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize