why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
