I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
