Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
