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Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
