its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
